Oz, I hate you
by TheLIAF
Summary: Elphaba and Galinda just can't stand each other. There's also a random spider. WOO HOO! For Elphaba and Galinda friendship!
1. What is this feeling?

**Note: Sentences in Italics mean they're thoughts. :]**

**And yes it's short, due to the fact that I'm having writer's block because my idea person is busy *COUGH* IZZY *COUGH***

_No. I am NOT sharing MY private suite with some failed excuse for an artichoke. The very thought is horrendible!_

"Umm, Madame Morrible? I really don't think it's a good idea to be sharing rooms with …rejected smurfs."

"Excuse me? Well, you know it's not like I asked to be paired with Barbie on crack, and if I remember correctly it was YOU that volunteered!" spat out the green girl.

Galinda flustered, she wasn't used to having people not worshiping her. After all, she _was_ Galinda Upland, of the Upper Uplands.

"Yeah? Well, you're, you're… you're…GREEN." Oh Oz, couldn't her brain come up with anything better?

The green girl cackled causing everyone to flinch.

"Typical dumb blonde." She sneered.

Madame Morrible cleared her throat, "Well then, I can just tell Elphaba and Galinda will be the best of friends!"

_Over my dead unpinkifyed body._

Later…

"Miss Galinda get out of the bathroom! Other people need to use it too!" yelled Elphaba as she pounded on the door.

"For your information, I'm not using the bathroom, I'm using the mirror. Maybe vegetables don't like to look nice, but I need this mirror to fix my hair. Not that it needs fixing anyways, I just like looking at myself." Said Galinda while she combed her blonde curls.

"GALINDA! IN TWO MINUTES YOU WILL HAVE BEEN IN THAT WASHROOM FOR EXCATLY AN HOUR AND TWO MINUTES! For Oz sake, get out of there!"

Screamed Elphaba desperately.

Galinda opened the door a tiny crack, "Say please Miss Elphaba."

Elphaba scowled, "Oh pretty pretty please Miss Galinda? It would mean _ever_ so much to me."

Galinda smiled sweetly, "That's much better Miss Elphaba; everyone enjoys the company of well mannered folk."

_Phff, unless they're green freaks who won't just let me brush my hair in peace._

Galinda stepped out of the bathroom, and as Elphaba walked in, she slammed the door loudly in Galinda's face. _Great only ten minutes to get ready before class. Oz, I hate that blonde._

Elphaba was ready in eight minutes and seven seconds, then proceeded to sprint like all hell had broke loose toward history class, she had probably nearly broke the Ozlympian record when she was suddenly tackled by someone.

"Hey! Watch where you're going! Dear Oz, I have fourty-nine seconds to get to Dr. Dillamond's class!"

"Miss, do you know who you are speaking to?" Screamed some angry guy pulling a sort of cart.

"Calm down Aravic, I'm sure … it meant no harm." Said a dark haired, tanned

person.

"I don't give a flying monkey, I'm late for class! There goes my perfect attendance award!" screamed Elphaba as she disappeared around the corner.

"Who, or what was that?" asked Aravic

"Some mutant tomato, I don't know…" said the dark haired figure.

"Fiyero, tomatoes aren't green." Replied Aravic

"Shush, don't try and teach me things, it's nap time."


	2. Mutual Loathing

_Oh no, five minutes late! On the first day too! This is embarrassing…_

"Dr. Dillamond, I am so so so sorry I'm late!" apologized Elphaba, she had never been late before.

"Oh Miss…urm?"

"Elphaba"

"Yes, Miss Elphabaaaaah Thropp, but I must say, you're early! _Very_ early." explained Dr. Dillamond. "Did anyone tell you that history class started at 10:30, not 8:45?"

"Uhh…whaa? But, but, this morning, I…late…but…HOW?" stammered Elphaba.

And suddenly she knew, "Galinda…" growled the green girl.

_She must have set my alarm clock off early… I didn't think that blonde brain of hers hand it in her._

Meanwhile…

Galinda lay on her fluffy pink bed with fluffy pillows and many more fluffily pink items, reading her Ozmopolitan magazines and smiling. She had fooled that silly artichoke into thinking she was late for her class. To be frank, she didn't really want to have wakened up so early and lose precious beauty sleep, but the vegetable's reaction was worth it all.

"I bet she's in class right now." She giggled to herself. "Might as well take a nap, there was still one hour thirty-seven minutes before class.

One hour thirty-eight minutes later…

As Galinda walked in the classroom, Elphaba shot her a glance of pure green hate. Like the Hulk, except…vegetable-y-ier? No matter, it was a glance so packed with hate and evil, Galinda faltered. There is nothing scarier than an angry artichoke, than an angry artichoke that's shares a room with you.

"Hello Miss Galinda."

"Hello Miss Elphaba." Replied Galinda as she sat down next to Pfanne and ShenShen.

"Um, hello there Miss Galinda." Mumbled a voice behind her.

_Oh it's that munchkin boy, err…Boq? No wait, Biq. That's it, Biq. Phew, good thing I remembered, how shallow would it have been to forget someone's name?_

"Oh hello Biq!" she said cheerily as she gave him one of her "I know I'm pretty, but feel free to bring it up!" smiles.

" It's uh, its Boq…"

_What did he say? I wasn't listening, OHMYOZ I THINK I BROKE A NAIL._

"…And um, well I was wondering Miss Galinda, if you would…"

Poor Boq never got to finish that sentence for that very moment, one Fiyero Tiggular busted in through the door.

"AWWWWW! Avaric! Don't make me come here, I want to sleep! I hate class! I rather dance through life!" moaned Fiyero.

"Oh calm down, it's just history, and we all know you suck at dancing!" replied Avaric

" I'm fantastic at river dancing thank you very much!" retorted Fiyero, "Because I'm Fiyero Tiggular!"

Galinda squealed. And no, it wasn't her usual "OhmyOz look at these pink shoes!" squeal, it was her, "OHMYOZ IT'S THAT WINKIE PRINCE WITH SUCH A SCANDELIIIIOUUUUS REPUTATION!" squeal. Needless to say everyone in that room went deaf for a short period of time.

"WHAT HAPPENED? I CAN'T HEAR!" yelled Boq.

"PINK!"

"WHAT?"

"PINK! I CAN HEAR…PINK!"

"ELPHABAAAAAAAHHH, WHAT'S GOING ON?

"PINK!" both Elphaba and Boq shouted back, "CODE PINK!" and then everyone but a very confused and slightly hurt Galinda ran out of the room.

"What'd I do?" wondered Galinda.

A Short While Later…

_Ok, Ok I need to find Fiyero, and then he'll fall in with me because I'm Galinda Upland of the UPPER Uplands, and we'll have children and live happily ever after! OH AND SHOES, THERE'S GONNA BE SHOES. And quite obviously _no_ artichokes._

"Fiyero? Ohh Fiyerooo?"

_Where was that Winkie prince?_

"FIYERO!"

…No response…

"Well fine! Be that way! I've looked for you for an entire twenty minutes, but if you don't even have to decency to answer me, then FINE!"

Galinda pouted, she didn't like having to walk around the school, but a few seconds later, Fiyero's friend Aravic came into view.

"Where's Fiyero? I have great news to tell him!"

"I'm afraid he's on a very important errand right now."

"What kind of errand?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"Why not?

"Uh…because…because…" Aravic couldn't come up an excuse so he just decided to run away.

"RUDE!" yelled Galinda as Aravic sped off.

Little did she know Fiyero was actually doing something that no one in all of Oz has ever done before…

XxxXxxXxxX

"Go fish." Mumbled Fiyero

"WHAT? I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!" shouted back Boq

"I SAID, GO FISH!"

"CHECKMATE? AW DANG NOT AGAIN." Moaned Boq

That's right, Fiyero was playing Checkers with Chess pieces and thinking about the Mighty Fish's football game the day before…

XxxXxxXxxX

Meanwhile, Elphaba Thropp was already planning her revenge.

_I hope this makes you cry_ Miss_ Galinda. Ah mutual loathing, what fun events it can inspire!_

.


	3. Arachnophobia

Galinda woke up with a start, she had an odd feeling on her leg, as if something was crawling on her. It moved up from her leg, to her arm, and that's when she saw it.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" It was a horrid black creature with eight legs, a fuzzy spider the size of both her fists put together.

"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF MY DEAR OZ, GET IT OFF!" she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Hey, that rhymed." Noted Elphaba, with a smirk on her face, and her nose in a book.

_It just goes to show, if you trick someone into getting up two hours early for class, that someone will put a spider the size of your face in your bed._

"Get it off! Please, Please it get it off me!" Galinda squealed in a shrill voice that was rising with panic.

She was in tears as she begged Elphaba, "Please help me, please get it off…" Elphaba didn't like it, but she felt a little bit, just a little bit of guilt for making the blonde cry. She sighed and removed the giant spider from Galinda's hair. Elphaba watched Galinda as she sobbed silently for a few minutes. Though it was true that anyone would have a panic attack after seeing a spider the size of their fists, not even so, it only looked that big because of its legs, Galinda's reaction was far worse, or better depending on how you would view it, than Elphaba had thought.

_Why should I feel bad? She's been more than hostile to me! _ Thought Elphaba angrily at herself.

_But she never made you cry. _Said a little voice in her head.

_Well it's not my fault the first joke I played on her happened to make her cry! Besides the alarm clock incident, she's also called me plenty names and has been the rudest, most shallow roommate I have ever had the displeasure of having!_

_You've been plenty rude back, and don't you think that this makes up for both the alarm clock and the name calling? _Continued the voice.

Elphaba took a quick glance at her roommate, she was hugging herself and rocking back and forth, tears still flowing.

_Logic, you've been my best friend since I could ever remember, don't turn on me now._

_I'm just trying to help, look at the poor girl!_

_I already did! She…_

Elphaba stopped in mid thought and took a deep breath, "Miss Galinda, are you ok?"

Galinda looked at Elphaba with a tear stained face, "I hate spiders."

"Yeah, I got that."

_Be nice!_ Scolded that annoying voice that Elphaba was beginning to resent.

"I mean, why?"

But Galinda didn't answer, instead she responded Elphaba's question with another question.

"How did that spider get in my bed Miss Elphaba?" her voice was dripping in venom.

_Logic, oh Logic? HELP ME._

…_You're on your own kid._

_Coward!_

"How did that spider get in my bed Miss Elphaba?"

_Think of a lie, think of a lie…oh Oz, I might as well come clean._

"Galinda, I'm really sorry. I didn't know that spiders bothered you that much! It was a joke!"

"Bother me? Oh no, spiders don't _bother _me. They just scare me to the point where I rather wear black for the rest of my life than ever even look at one! Maybe not all black, but, ok no, I rather wear all black!"

"I told you, I'm sorry! And besides, it's not like you've been treating me as if I was even dirt! You've been treating me worse!" shot back Elphaba.

"Well that's because…"

"Because what? Because I'm _green?_ I know I'm green thank you very much!"

"Well I know I'm blonde!"

"What?" _What does _that_ have to do with anything?_ Thought Elphaba.

"Don't think that I don't notice all the blonde jokes you've been making behind my back!" yelled the smaller girl.

"Don't think that I don't notice all the artichoke jokes you've been making behind mine!" yelled back Elphaba.

_It appears we have reached a standby. _Noted the voice in Elphaba's head.

_I'm Confusifyied. _The voice in Galinda's head told her.

Both girls stared at each other for a short while with stony expressions. Finally, Galinda's face softened.

"I'm sorry Elphaba."


	4. High C

Galinda laid in her bed thinking about the events that occurred earlier that day, had she and the artichoke really made up? No, wait, she couldn't call her an artichoke any more, that wasn't fair. Elphaba, as different as she was, under all that sarcasm, and cold indifference, was just a girl who Galinda had tortured since day one.

_I'm sorry Elphie, really._

_Ooo, that's a nice nickname, I've gotta remember that one._

As the blonde haired girl started to drift off into sleep, she was fantasizing about all the things that she would do to make it up to the green girl, along with a certain scandalacious winkie prince.

The next day it was Elphaba's turn to wake up with a start, Galinda was jumping on her bed.

"Wake up Miss Elphaba! It's time to go shopping!" Galinda had sung the last word at an octave three octaves above a high C, the result was Elphaba being knocked unconscious by the purity of the high pitched note. The confused girl wasn't sure to take that as a compliment or an insult.

_Whatever then, I'll just find Fiyero by myself and come back for Elphie later._

Galinda squealed internally as to not wake up her 'sleeping' roommate and set off to look for one Fiyero Tiggular.

"Fiyerooo!" squealed Galinda

_Oh my Oz, what on earth is that high pitched noi- Why…hello there…_

Galinda giggled, "Hey Fiyero. Yeah, hi, I'm Galinda Upland of the _Upper_ Uplands."

"And I'm Fiyero Tiggular of the Vinkus from Winkie country, I like dancing."

"So Prince Fiyero of the Vinkus, how would you like to go out with the prettiest girl in Shiz?"

_Hot damn! Is she asking me out? WAIT. SHE'S asking ME out? NO NO NO. Ok Fiyero, play it smooth…_

"Uh yeah, that'll have to wait, because I just found an even prettier girl that I'd like to date."

_Excuuuse me? Who can possibly be prettier than me? Galinda Upland of the_ Upper _Uplands!_

"Who?"

"You of course." Said Fiyero in his absolute best smooth talker voice.

_Ohhh, that works._

"You're perfect!" squealed Galinda

"No, you're perfect!" said Fiyero

"Oh, come with me Fiyero, it's time to go shopping!" this time Galinda made sure to not go any higher than _one_ octave above high C.

"And then can we go dancing?" asked Fiyero hopefully

"Of course dearest!" Galinda was overjoyed, she was going out with Fiyero Tiggular!

_Just wait until I tell Miss Elphaba about this!_

Meanwhile…

Elphaba Thropp woke up in a daze.

"Ugh, what happened?" she said aloud. The last thing she remembered was Galinda talking and an ungodly high pitched chipmunk sounding tone… about shopping?

_Why would she want to go shopping with an artichoke like me?_

And then she remembered how they had apologized to each to each other the day before.

They had promised each other to at least _try_ and get along, though Elphaba strongly doubted that would actually happen.

_Although, it's not impossible. _Piped up Logic, the voice in her head she decided to name.

_Shut up Logic, no one asked you._

_You know I'm right! My very _name_ is Logic!_

_Shut up._

Around ten minutes later, Galinda bursted in with Fiyero behind her holding up many, many shopping bags.

"Miss Elphaba! Look at all these clothes I bought!"

"They're all pink." Elphaba noted.

"That's what makes them _soo_ pretty! I got you something too!"

Galinda held up a short pink skirt.

_No._ said Logic Immediately. Elphaba agreed for once.

"No."

"Awww why?" pouted Galinda

"Do I look like the type of person to wear pink?"

"I can fix that!" said Galinda with a wide smile.

"Excuse me girls?" said a voice behind all the shopping bags, "My arms are tired, not that you need them in river dancing but still, I like my arms not tired."

"Oh right! I forgot to introduce you two! Elphie, this is Fiyero, my new boyfriend!" squealed Galinda happily.

_Wait Elphie? Wait, boyfriend? That was fast._

"Oh and by the way Elphie, is it ok if I call you Elphie?" asked Galinda

"Well, it's kinda perky." Replied Elphaba

"And you can call me, Gaa-lindaaa…not like Dr. Dillamond, he keeps calling me Glinda! It's insulting!"

"Girls?" Fiyero's voice was becoming desperate.

"Just drop the bags dearest."

And so he did, but when they were dropped, Fiyero's mouth dropped into a perfect 'O'.


	5. For Narnia!

Fiyero jumped back in shock, "Woah! Green! Why are you green?"

"Fiyero!" scolded Galinda, "You can't just ask someone why they're green!"

Elphaba scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Its fine Galinda, let the Winkie think what he wants to think."

"Fiyero…" said Galinda warily, "Apologize. Right now."

"Well, I would, if it wasn't for the fact that I have to go…to….Narnia. On…an important trip, involving…chocolate."

_Fiyero you genius! I am _so_ good at coming up with lies!_

"Fiyero!"

"Can't talk dear, must be getting on my way." Fiyero kissed Galinda quickly on the cheek and ran, no, sprinted off.

"Elphie I'm sorry, I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"No, it's fine Galinda. Really, I'm used to it."

As much as Galinda wanted to help, she knew that it wouldn't be easy for her to convince the Winkie Prince.

"Well…ok then." Mumbled Galinda, "Oh wait! Elphie, I know we aren't really that close but um, would you mind if maybe…I gave you a makeover?

"Yes."

Galinda squealed happily, "Really? For truly and honestly, no lie?"

"Yes." Said Elphaba, "Yes I would mind."

"Oh. Never mind then." Sighed Galinda dejectedly.

"But well, didn't you say something about shopping earlier this morning? I guess I just need something else to do, the library's closed after someone filled it with purple jello."

If the girls listened carefully at that very moment, they might have been able to hear a certain Munchkin laughing manically at his 'brilliant' plan.

Of course they weren't listening for such a thing for Galinda had jumped up and started going on about how they were going to have _ever_ so much fun shopping this weekend.

_Ohhh, here we are! At the Ozmopolitan; my absolute favourite store ever! OhmyOz those pink sweaters are ADORAAAABLE._

"Isn't this fun Elphie?"

"Uh, sure I guess."

"Come here! Help me pick out a jacket, I was thinking about this nice pink one with pink sparkles and pink feathers!"

_Blah Bla Blah Bla Blah Bla Blah, OOO! Pretty black hoodie!_

_Wait what did Galinda say? Sheesh Elphaba you should be paying attention to what she's saying. _Cried Logic, _Oh that _is _pretty black hoodie…_

_Yes, I know, but I don't really feeling like spending money on clothes. I have clothes. I don't need more clothes._

"Oooo, Elphaba you should totally get that! It's prettiful! But in pink. Everything's prettier in pink."

"Maybe…but no to the pink part."

"Just wait here then, I'm going to go try some of these on!"

Elphaba sighed.

After what seemed like seventy thousand hours, there was still no sight of Galinda.

_I wish I had ADHD, maybe then I wouldn't be able to count the all the minutes. How many clothes does she have if it's taking her this long?_

As Elphaba roamed the store aimlessly, she accidentally rammed head on into a mannequin. Only it wasn't a mannequin, it was Fiyero.

_Oh well, that's an odd looking green hood- OHMYOZ IT'S ELPHABA._

"Uh. Hi."

"Aren't you supposed to be in Narnia? Aslan doesn't wait no matter what the circumstance."

"What are you talking about?"

_THE LIE, THE LIE YOU FOOL!_ Screamed Fiyero's almost non existent shallow brain.

"Oh right! Uh, I …he sent me here... to get…scarves…" stammered Fiyero.

"Who do you think you're fooling?" asked Elphaba spitefully, "That was the most ridiculous excuse I have ever heard!"

"That doesn't mean much coming from the cousin of the Jolly Green Giant."

Although it shouldn't have, Fiyero's comment made hurt Elphaba, and she walked off without a further word.

_Well…that went differently from what I expected. _Thought Fiyero

_I hate him, I hate him so much, I absolutely LOATH Fiyero Tiggular!_ Angrily thought Elphaba

Galinda chose that particular moment to finally exit the change rooms.

"Elphie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

_She's obviously sulking about something, but what?_

__Galinda then saw Fiyero a few meters away looking at assorted hats. She wanted to beckon him to join them, but then she realized what must have happened.

"It was Fiyero wasn't it?" asked Galinda

"…Yes, yes it was. I just can't stand him! I don't understand how you can possibly like him Galinda! He's shallow, self absorbed, ignorant, and…and…a jerk!" yelled Elphaba, fuming with rage.

"Don't worry Elphie, I'll go talk to him"

"Wait no! It doesn't matter, really!"

But Galinda had already pranced off.


	6. Shopping Solves everything

**Note: This is the last chapter, because I like SHORT stories :D and thanks Izzy, for the ONE idea about Fiyero,Galinda, and Elphaba shopping together. XD STEP UP YOUR GAME MAN. But whatever, too many ideas makes it a long story. And I don't like those. WOOT FOR ADHD AND OVERLY LONG NOTES THAT RAMBLE ON ABOUT NOTHING!**

"Oh hey Galinda." Said Fiyero as he noticed Galinda walk up to him, "I'm glad you're here, I need your opinion on these swankified looking hats. Blue or Black?"

"Definitely pink. Oh no wait! This purple-y pink one with white feathers!"

_No, focus! I have to tell him to be nice to Elphaba._

"Fiyero, I have to talk to you about something."

"Can't it wait? I saw this flyer for river dancing lessons, and I was- "

"No, it can't." interrupted Galinda

"…Well ok then…what did you want to say?"

"It's just that…I want you to be nicer to Elphaba, she's my roommate and I don't like it when you make fun of her."

_Or maybe something more than just a roommate…_

"But it's fun! And easy."

"And not nice!"

"Hey, if I remember correctly, you also made countless green jokes."

"But that was different!"

"How?"

"Well, I apologized."

"So if I apologize to her, then can I keep making fun of her?"

Galinda just stared at her boyfriend.

_I know Fiyero has black hair but if I was Elphaba right now I'd call him blonde. Not the pretty blonde colour I have, the stupid one._

"No! That's not apologizing if you still make fun of her afterwards!" said Galinda in a shrill voice.

"Fine whatever, then I guess I won't apologize."

Even to himself that comment sounded mean. Fiyero instantly regretted it when he saw the look on Galinda's face.

"Ok ok, I'm sorry. That was out of line."

"NOT TO ME! APOLOGIZE TO ELPHABA OR I SWEAR, FIYERO TIGGULAR, NO MATTER HOW HOT YOU ARE, I WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU." Shrieked an angry blonde.

Fiyero quickly moved in and gave Galinda a kiss to shut her up. He hated when she screamed at him, it was terrifying. Another thing that was terrifying was the fact that she had threatened to break up with him; he liked Galinda, a lot.

_Also if there's going to be _any _breaking up, I will most definitely not be the one getting dumped, that would ruin my reputation!_

"I'm glad we cleared this up." Smiled Galinda sweetly

Fiyero gave a nervous smile.

"Me too, dear."

Galinda happily skipped back to her green friend.

"So…what happened?" inquired Elphaba.

"He's going to apologize to you and promised to stop calling you names. Isn't that great?"

"I can't believe you actually got him to agree to that. How did you do it?" asked a rather shocked Elphaba.

"Well, there was some screaming, some shouting, some yelling, some pouting…hey that rhymed, oh and I threatened to break up with him if he didn't."

_I guess he really loves her then…_

This last fact bothered Elphaba, and she was not quite sure why.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know but we're…" started Galinda

"We're what?"

"We're friends right? That's what friends do."

"Two good friends." Confirmed Elphaba

"Two best friends." Finshed Galinda.

And for the first time, the two girls hugged.


End file.
